Saturday, January 17, 2009

No Brainers.. Just for laugh....

Enough has been said about Satyam fiasco. About the poor corporate governance and blah blah blah... The company's reputation and its stock has taken a beating. Satyam has been stripped of its corporate awards. The economic stalwarts have been airing their views on this issue. The issue is pretty serious. So what am I to do now. Discuss how to improve the Corporate Governance?How to prevent another Satyam? Naa.. Naa.. Naa.... leave those things to people who are adept in handling such affairs. I want to discuss the lighter side of it.. I would like to discuss some plain vanilla facts.

Hmm... Okkey... so what are the facts.

What do Rajus have for their breakfast?

What do they have for their lunch & dinner?

which book is he currently reading and which God they are seeking refuge?

Who are the other accomplices along with Rajus ?

If you think that I am kidding better be serious and watchout... coz all of the above questions have answers.

Answers are as follows.

100 grams of `pulihora' (tamarind rice) and tea for breakfast.

250 gram of rice, 250 gram of beans and radish curry, rasam and curd for Lunch. Chicken curry, rice and rasam for dinner.

Raju is seeking solace in Buddha.

His inmates are two bootleggers or dowry offenders..

If you think I have taken all these things with help of a hidden camera in the jail... Just don't fool yourselves.
Check here

What is going to follow is a pep conversation between the inmates and Rajus.

Disclaimer : This will never be funny if you are a Satyam employee. I pity for them. They suffer for no mistake of theirs. So please refrain from reading below if you don't feel like reading a satire on satyam.

The following is strictly NOT for Tamil Challenged Readers.

Along with Rajus one another celebrity inmate is there... He is none other than our Koundamani :) Hmm.. Let me keep the name of the other inmate as Narayanan.

Start Meesic.....

Kounds: Dei otta vai Narayana.... thiritu kanaku ezhudiye paadhi kaata vaangita...

Narayanan: adhu naan illa... adho unkanduthu irrukare avaru...

Kounds: yaar da vandhurukanga pudusa?

Narayanan: Yaaro thozhil adhibaram....

Kounds: Adadadada... Naatula indha thozhil adhibarunga thollai thanga mudiyala da... Punnaku vikkiravan... kundusi vikkiravan ellam thozhil adhibaram....

Narayanan: Anne appadi solladhinga ne... avaru periya vyabari....

Kounds: Amam ivaru periya kappal vyabari.... pichupuduven pichu....

Kounds to Raju: Ecuse me ... Your name pleese...

Raju: Ramalinga Raju...

Kounds: Dhank you....

Raju:Your name please....

Kounds:My name is kundalakesi.. 3rd standard... Avvayar aaramba padasalai....

Kounds: yedha thiridithu ulla vandha....

Raju: Idha parunga... thiridan nu mattum solladinga... naan en kudumba kastathukaga konjam dabbu abase panninen....

Kounds: Adhu enna thiridan na avalo elakarama... engalukum maanam maariyatha... vekkam velayudham... soodu soolayutham ellam irruku... Naanga onnum summa thirudala... naangalum enga vayathu pozhapuku than thiridarom... Nee un kudumba kastathukaga thiridinegarathukaga unna enna velli kambi jail la poduvangala... unakum adhe irumbu kambi jail dhan adhe kali than....

Raju: idhu than ennoda thambi Rama Raju... Let us be friends.....

Kounds: Neeye oru sori naai... unaku sorinju vidara naai andha naai... unga kooda kootu seruvena da... Apparam... naalaki idhellam saritharathula varum.. enaku sela veppanga... students ellam notes edupanga.. venam ba unga sagavasam.... Ayyo Rama... yenna yen intha maathiri karisala pasangalodalaam sera veikura.... enna aala vidungada saami...

Kounds and Narayanan Goes to their Bed.

In the meantime Dinner comes for all four of them.

Raju takes all the food for himself and starts eating....

Raju eats chicken in a manner never seen....

Kounds: Inniyoda chicken vamsame azhanjidhu da...

After eating all chicken and other food... Raju asks.. idhu enna rasama....

Kounds: anga vesatha vechurukanum... thappi thavari rasatha vechutanga....

Narayanan to Kounds: Avana parungale... evalo surutitum eppadi ippadi moonjiya vechuka mudiyudhu....

Kounds: Indha madiri vela seyyiravanga ellam ippidi than irrupanga....

Kounds to Narayanan: Inniki namma pattini than... vaa poi thoongovom....

Rajus retreats to their bed...


Okkey guys hope you enjoyed this... See you in another post soon...




Friday, January 9, 2009

New year Resolutions?

Are you currently working on some hot, freshly brewed, sweet and tasty un-broken New Year resolutions? Imagine those are the resolutions you had made and suppose that you have achieved all of them. Think how cool life would be :) I am sure life would always be a bed of roses. It would be like you have acquired a special God Particle which enables to act as God as well as Human. This means that you can do anything and everything possible, physically at least. Unfortunately this is not the case with most of us. I take the liberty in using the word "Most" because survey by leading Universities and researchers says that 4/5 people who take resolutions never keep them even till the end of January. By Feb, most of the resolutions are doomed.

Sometimes the very resolutions act as counterproductive. It increases those activities which we had initially wanted to quit. But isn't it a silly thing to wait till December to fix your resolutions? If you want fix them in March or July ? Hmm... I really don't understand why one needs to tie it to a specific date to pursue what one needs to do.

Ok. Now coming on how to effectively keep a resolution. Something that has worked wonders for me. Ahem,Ahem, with the word "worked" by now u might have guessed that i am lying. Indeed you are right. I have never been successful in keeping resolutions, New year or otherwise. So taking my advice is a sure recipe for disaster :). I am going to present you what researchers have concluded on how to go about a resolution. I read a lot of articles about resolutions and invariably everyone has the same thing to say. This is what University of Washington has to suggest.

• Have a strong initial commitment to make a change.
• Have coping strategies to deal with problems that will come up.
• Keep track of your progress. The more monitoring you do and feedback you get, the better you will do.

And a sure shot recipe for Failure includes

• Not thinking about making resolutions until the last minute.
• Reacting on a specific day and making your resolutions based on what's bothering you or is on your mind at that time.
• Framing your resolutions as absolutes by saying, "I will never do X again."

Stephen Covey, the famous author says those things which we want to change must align with the deepest values , motivations and with what is important to us. Otherwise there will not be any passion to stay committed when the going gets tough. This is especially true because we get distracted easily by a lot of things which acts against us in achieving what we want.

Some other points that is mentioned is

Don't set yourself up for failure with unrealistic goals

Make sure each goal includes clear measurement and specific deadlines

Write down the goals and review them. This increases the chances of achieving them.

Track your progress and reward yourself.

If you slip up, Recommit

Ohh...writing this seemed to be an herculean task for me. Following this would be next to impossible :) Remember what ever given above , I bet next time you will be scared & think twice before making one . :) Let me go out and get myself some fresh air while you start preparing your next list of resolutions :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Skeletons in the Closet

Hello friends. Welcome to a brand new year. As we start this year, I wish you all the prosperity and good luck.

Well, I had plans of blogging something else. But as Oscar Wilde put it "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it" ,I yielded to my temptations writing about the Satyam sham (I use the word sham because "Breaking news", "scandal", "Fraud" had already been used by most of TV channels , newspapers and the India Inc) . By now everyone would be overdose with news about Satyam . But I am sorry I can’t help but write about it and its your fate to read this :-)

At the outset it was a really sad day for India Inc. The entire episode took everyone by surprise. It is being compared to the likes of Enron and WorldCom. And rightly so. The entire Satyam episode had been like a jigsaw puzzle. As the story unfolded following the confessions of Mr. Ramalinga Raju, everything seemed to fall in its right place (as of now). Dunno if we can still believe Mr. Raju (Check Here)

Going by the facts put by Mr. Raju,

5040 crores of non-existent cash
376 crores of non-existent interest accrued
1230 crores of liability arranged by Mr. Raju in his own capacity
490 crores of overstated debtors position

This adds up to 7136 crores. Now come to the Maytas deal. The whole company was valued at $1.6 Billion . When we convert 7136 crores in terms of dollars, it comes around $1.6 Billion. This is the exact amount missing from Satyam's accounts. Since this cash did not exist in Satyam's books and since the acquisition of Maytas could be done for nothing , it all made perfect sense. It was a tragic end to a thrilling story which otherwise would have ended on a happy note if it wasn’t for the villains (In the form of Investors and shareholders in Mr. Raju's opinion).

What would have happened had Satyam went ahead with Maytas Deal? I can’t imagine what would have happened but I guess the catastrophe would have been of a lesser degree. Thank God it didn’t happen. Else we wouldn’t have known the real truth (Satyam) behind it.

One good thing is he came out in the public and admitted his guilt rather than waiting for someone to find it. All these days he had been dancing with the skeletons in his closet. I am sure he would be a relieved man and would have had a better sleep last night. Unfortunately robbed sleep of many others.

But my heart goes out for all the 53000+ employees of Satyam who have toiled for years and now face this for no fault of theirs. I wish the Satyam Employees all the strength to bear all these shocks.